Watch Your French

When my mum tipped a panful of red-hot fat
Over her foot, she did quite a little chat,
And I won't tell you what she said
But it wasn't:
'Fancy that!
I must try in future to be more careful
With this red-hot scalding fat!'

When my dad fell over and landed – splat! –
With a trayful of drinks (he'd tripped over the cat)
I won't tell you what he said
But it wasn't
'Fancy that!
I must try in future to be more careful
To step round our splendid cat!'

When Uncle Joe brought me a cowboy hat
Back from the States, the dog stomped it flat,
And I won't tell you what I said
But Mum and Dad yelled:
Where did you learn that appalling language?
Come on. Where?'

'I've no idea,' I said,
'No idea.'

'Watch Your French' from The Magic Box (Macmillan Children’s Books. 2009), © Kit Wright 2009, used by permission of the author.

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1Red Boots On

2The Chap

3Zoe's Ear-rings

4In Cold Blood

5The Thumb Bird

6Nothing Else

8All of Us

9In Memory of a Beautiful Jeweller

10The Sea in the Trees

11Bluebells and Penguins


13The Magic Box

14Lorrie and Dorrie

15Waiting for the Tone

16Watch your French

17My Dad, Your Dad

18How to Treat the House-plants

19Fair Warning of a Goddess

20My Party

21In the Cathdral Gardens

22I Heard Someone Crying

23Rock Around the Wok



26Dad and the Cat and the Tree

27Bad Dog Blues

28Heads or Tails?

29Hot Dog

30A Ballroom for St Bernards


32The Rotters

33Useful Person

7How I See It