Nine to Five

What I wouldn't give for a nine to five.
Biscuits in the right hand drawer,
teabreaks, and typists to mentally undress.

The same faces. Somewhere to hang
your hat and shake your umbrella.
Cosy. Everything in its place.

Upgraded every few years. Hobbies.
Glass of beer at lunchtime
Pension to look forward to.

Two kids. Homeloving wife.
Bit on the side when the occasion arises
H.P. Nothing fancy. Neat semi.

* * *

What I wouldn't give for a nine to five.
Glass of beer in the right hand drawer
H.P. on everything at lunchtime.

The same 2 kids. Somewhere to hang
your wife and shake your bit on the side.
Teabreaks and a pension to mentally undress.

The same semifaces upgraded.
Hobbies every few years, neat typists
in wet macs when the umbrella arises.

What I wouldn't give for a cosy biscuit.

from Collected Poems, Viking 2003

Sponsor this poem

Would you like to sponsor this poem? Find out how here.


Buy album £0.00

1Nine to Five

2Introduction / Here I Am / Fame

3Greek Tragedy / The Terrible Outside

4The Man in the Moon

5Learning to Read / Wearing Thin / The Railings / What Does Your Father Do? / Posh

6You and I

7At the Bottom of the Street / M.I.L.T. / Honey & Lemon

8Sporting Relations: Uncle Pat; Aunty Dora; Aunt Ermintrude; Cousin Nell; Cousin Daisy


10Fired with Enthusiasm / The Mini Metro

12Everyday Eclipses / Survivor / Let Me Die a Young Man's Death

13Bob Dylan and the Blue Angel / Hey Dude / A Bolt from the Blue / Thank U Very Much

14In Vain / The Health Forecast


16Children's Poems: The Missing Sock / Well Wisher / Head / Life Ain't Nuttin' But A Hill O' Beans / Spelling Bees / Bad Bad Cats / Mafia Cats


18Manx / Perreq / Perfect Crime / Divine Juggler

19Funicular Railway

20Defying Gravity

21The Trouble with Snowmen

22Cinders / The Way Things Are

23Refrain: Everyday Eclipses

Books by Roger McGough