The Archive has poems to suit all moods. Here's our selection of poems to make you laugh. You'll find news of an engagement, a tender illustration of the differences between men and women, a breakfast meditation, a school-teacher close to breaking point, and a very angry talking monster.
The Loch Ness Monster's Song
Hnwhuffl hhnnwfl hnfl hfl?
Gdroblboblhobngbl gbl gl g g g g glbgl.
Drublhaflablhaflubhafgabhaflhafl fl fl -
gm grawwwww grf grawf awfgm graw...
Take a look at the text of this poem before you play the recording. What on earth do these seemingly random lumps of letters mean? How could you ever read it aloud? How could it tell a story? And how could it ever make the listener laugh with delight? Then press PLAY.
because you're classically trained.
I'm ugly because I associate piano wire with strangulation.
You're beautiful because you stop to read the cards in newsagents' windows
about lost cats and missing...
Again, tenderness is combined with acute comic observation. Simon Armitage's dead-pan comment after the poem has finished is the perfect pay-off.